To My (maybe) Future Wife

INTRODUCTION

I know that this may seem like a very unusual thing for a young, wanna-be Biblically faithful person, and some may think of this as a funny, but non-Scriptural way of expressing emotion because I do not yet know if I will have a spouse on this earth someday or not. Or to some of those from the opposite end, it may seem typical for a young evanjellyfish to write eloquent words in hopes of duping an unsuspected 'christian' woman into marrying him. I aim to smash the first presupposition, and warn those who hold to the second; I do not hope in the usual dreams of having a spouse simply to fulfill my own needs, I do not worship the idea of being married in this world because in the next one I will joyfully see the beauty of the Bridegroom that is Christ, and shadows in this world (temporary marriage) will fade away from the Light that is the Wedding Feast with Christ. So, bear with me and my amateur writing, as I attempt to honestly put my thoughts into words on this most seemingly odd but truthfully common topic.

Let me start by what I think marriage is not;

1. An endlessly romantic relationship.

Every Godly couple I have talked to will be quick to declare this is not true. Fuzzy subjective feelings only last so long and if your marriage is based off of them, it will end very shortly. Culture has given many an idea that all people are actually really good, and nice, and marriage is about constantly acting sweet to each other by making use of cheesy music and poetry. All I can say is; the Godly couples I know will say otherwise.

2. The more 'fun' version of 'dating'(whatever the hell that means...)

Because of our culture's propensity towards the perversion of what courtship truly is, many assume that dating is simply the act of going out to the movies, restaurants, and having fun. Many import this idea into marriage, assuming it will be like their misconception of dating but even MORE fun. The fact of the matter is, most mature Godly couples I have talked to will tell you that marriage is not always fun, and some have said that they would never categorize marriage as fun. So here we discover another foundation of sand to build a marriage upon.

3. A way to fulfill sensual and perverted desires.

I am convinced that every little boy, whether he is 10 or 27 years old, thinks that by finding a wife he finds a good thing because he can have sex whenever he wants. This cannot be farther from the idea that a man is to lay his life down for his wife, like Christ laid His life down for the Church. It seems that not many want to admit that little boys do this, so forgive me for my honesty.... actually, I do not care if some are offended by this one. Our society is so influenced by the depravity that is pornography and other forms of sexual immorality that it has been considered 'normal' to bring that into a marriage, even marriages of those who trust in the Gospel. There are several Godly couples that will tell you this is one of the most dangerous things one could do, and a couple of friends of mine will tell you that it almost ruined their marriage.

4. Someone to do everything for me.

This idea that a wife is some kind of glorified kitchen-slave is not as explicitly popular anymore, but by looking at many marriages one begins to realize that in the sub-conscious of many, this is true. It is proven by the very fact that many husbands seriously treat their wife as if children, food and household are all his wife's responsibilities. Many will not admit this, because our radically feminist culture demonizes any sense of complementarianism, much more so male chauvinism.

Now that I think I have gone through (I think) the biggest misconceptions I have seen in the minds of my peers about marriage, let me see if I may simply show what I believe marriage to be;

1. The point of marriage is primarily a covenantal God-glorifying picture of Christ and His bride; the Church.

Per Eph. 5, marriage is a temporary picture of Christ Jesus and His bride, the Church that will pass away when we are face to face with Christ. The covenant is center to the picture of marriage; just as Christ is the Surety of the Covenant of Grace, in which He, in love, pursued us until death to redeem us and caused us to be in union with Him. Therefore marriage is a picture of something greater and must be centered on the glorifying of Christ to last.

2. Marriage is an intense form of sanctification.

Those who are married are not better or holier than those single, and vice versa. However, it would seem that two sinners saved by grace being around one another constantly in such a relationship causes sanctification on such a deep level that it is on one hand terrifying, and on the other to be sought after. Everyone resists the idea of their sin being thrown out of the closet somewhat, but believers, though sometimes reluctant, glorify Christ immensely by continual repentance which marriage in many cases is a cause of.

3. Marriage is for men to worship Christ by pointing to Him in laying his life down for his bride.

Men are commanded to lay down their lives for their wives as Christ layed His life down for the Church. This means that the man is held accountable and responsible for everything. This may sound terrifying to any man, to be accountable for everything. It may also sound offensive to those proponents of evangelical feminism, but the truth is this; for any Christian man that truly desires marriage, there is a strong desire to love and serve a woman in every way, even until death. We desire this innately because of the imprint of Christ's nature on our regenerate heart. Women are to worship Christ by respecting their husbands and helping them, but men need to be willing to give their last breath to provide for their wives.

4. Marriage is to show the beauty of God and His Fatherhood of us by the gift of children.

Marriage brings an opportunity to go through the interesting struggle of raising children. The struggle of disciplining, loving, and teaching children is an amazing way to demonstrate to one's self and others the amazing beauty of God the Father's love for us, in that we were orphans and He adopted us, we hated Him and disobeyed (and continue to) and He still loves us and disciplines us, and all of this points to the awesome truth that we are adopted Sons and Daughters by grace because of the person and work of God the Son, Christ.

5. Marriage is a struggle filled union that brings joy in Christ.

I know that singleness can bring joy in Christ as well, but marriage does it in a different way. I cannot explain this because I have not experienced it, and those who have tried to explain it to me have not done it in a way that I necessarily understand. So I will simply not try to explain this.

Ending Thoughts...

I am sure that I missed many points that could be added to it, but I am sure this gets the point across. I tried many times to convince myself that I do not desire these things, and that I am called to singleness. But I cannot lie to myself; I desire to lay my life down for a Godly woman in this way to point to Jesus through a marriage, and through parenting. This may sound farfetched, but I understand how glorified marriage can be. I know that it is truly messy for two sinners to come together as one, but I still desire to marry a Godly woman, adopt children, preach the Gospel in other countries and worship Christ with her in all of this. This all may seem like I am assuming too much, but let me assure any reader that I am not; I have been given this desire, but if the Lord purposes me to die before I can marry or does not allow me to, I am content... This is also very possible because in order to get married I must somehow convince a Godly woman, not only to marry me, but go to another country with me. I do not know what will happen, but I know that through the Spirit, I aim to always ultimately find joy in Christ alone. If none of these things that I desire happen; glory be to God alone! These are simply a few of my thoughts on the subject, and they have been heavily on my mind as of recently.

For more thoughts from a much smarter man than I;

http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/sermons/staying-married-is-not-about-staying-in-love-part-1

Soli Deo Gloria

-Wesley T. Robinson

Resolutions

PRECURSOR:

While thinking about my life, and analyzing my thought patterns I happened to remember Jonathan Edward's poignant 'Resolutions' that he wrote at a young age. They were a simple collection of things he resolved to do, things he desired, things he could not always do but resolved to remember to actively fight for, even when he failed. Thinking on all of these things, I found it to be most beneficial and helpful to write a similar list of personal reminders to myself, seeing as I wander so easily. I may sound redundant in this writing, but remember that these are to make it easier for me to remember things that I am so prone to quickly forget. As it turns out, sometimes dead Puritans have much more beneficial and simpler ways of doing things. Anyways, I post this in hopes that someone else may possibly benefit from such thoughts as well as myself.

 1. Resolved, to endeavor in all things to take joy in the Gospel that God the Father so loved me that He sent God the Son to life a perfect life in my place, and pay the penalty for my sin at the Cross and resurrect so that I may also be resurrected, so that God the Holy Spirit could regenerate and indwell me and sanctify me.

2. Resolved, in this life to fight indwelling sin and all of its partners to the death, even to the point of bloodshed, for the glory of the God who has ransomed me from it.
3. Resolved, to endeavor by the power of the Holy Spirit to glorify God in all that I say and do.
4. Resolved, by the power of the Holy Spirit, to tame my tongue and repent daily of all wickedness that proceeds from within the heart.
5. Resolved, to endeavor to preach the Gospel in any given situation, regardless of loss of pride, health, mental stability, or material objects.
6. Resolved, to think of my life as 'a vapor' and live it as such to the glory of the risen Christ.
7. Resolved, to not fear any man, power, or threat when, but instead to treat such threats as an incentive to preach the death, burial, and resurrection of Christ Jesus, not fearing those who can kill the body only, but He who can destroy both body and soul in Hell.
8. Resolved, even though I may never see the threat of temporary death for the Gospel, to be prepared for it and remember those who do.
9. Resolved, when I see the beauty of the nature to remember the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus, the second person of the Trinity, through whom all such things subsist.
10. Resolved, when I see the sunshine and the beauty of nature, to also remember my brothers and sisters imprisoned for preaching the Gospel of our Lord, whom will likely not see such beauty again until they die.
11. Resolved, to endeavor to preach the whole counsel of God, regardless of what personal, financial, or health risks are at stake.
12. Resolved, to love the Lord even when those I love may hate Him.
13. Resolved, to endeavor to consistently meditate on and enjoy communion with the One Triune God through persistent prayer, and laborious study of His Scriptures.
14. Resolved, to take joy in the display of God's glory through those who have gone before me and have been killed, remembering that 'the blood of the martyr's is the seed of the church.'
15. Resolved, to call out all societal darkness and wickedness, and to not forget that only the Gospel is the solution to such cultural ills.
16. Resolved, to fight for Gospel centered community, remembering that the Lord works through it, no matter how much sin drags me away from it.
17. Resolved, to endeavor to show those that I love, the reason I love them; because Christ has first loved me.
18. Resolved, to call out any blatant heretics who claim to represent or preach the Gospel and instead preach a message that leads to damnation.
19. Resolved, to endeavor to speak the truth always in love, through the power of the Holy Spirit.
20. Resolved, to endeavor to never think of myself as more than I am; a blasphemous, sickening, vile worm of a human, redeemed by Christ alone, through grace alone, justified by faith alone, according to the Scriptures, and to the glory of God alone.
21. Resolved, to think of all sin that I commit as so evil that it required the death of the only Righteous One to atone for it.
22. Resolved, to endeavor to work joyfully in all things that I do, even though I may not want to do them necessarily.
23. Resolved, to endeavor to joyfully take rest in the Lord, through consistent sabbath-rest and meditation on the Scriptures.
24. Resolved, to worship the Lord regardless of what any man may think of it.
25. Resolved, to worship joyfully, sacrificially, and in humility.
26. Resolved, to learn humility.
27. Resolved, to endeavor to enjoy my brothers and sisters in Christ more often.
28. Resolved, to never think that I have exhaustively comprehended the Lord and all His attributes, but to remember that He is the potter, and I, the clay.
29. Resolved, to always be willing to defend the truth of the Scriptures.
30. Resolved, to endeavor by the power of the Holy Spirit to kill all idols that my sinful heart may produce.
31. Resolved, to not be careless about the hearts and souls of others, by the power of the Holy Spirit.
32. Resolved, to remember the poor, orphans, and widows, knowing that the Lord will save many from every culture, tribe, tongue, nation, class, and that He has said 'he who ignores the cries of the poor and oppressed will one day call out and not be answered.'
33. Resolved, to quickly repent.
34. Resolved, to REMEMBER to quickly repent, that I may more quickly be filled with and reminded of the joy in Christ that sin causes me to doubt.
35. Resolved, to never be lazy, but always laboring for the Kingdom of Christ.
36. Resolved, to never deny or renounce the One True God.
37. Resolved, when I suffer, to remember how Christ suffered, and that those who suffer with Him will be 'glorified with Him.'
38. Resolved, when I suffer, to remember that all things I go through have first passed through the hands of God the Father, and they are for my ultimate good and His ultimate glory.
39. Resolved, to endeavor to not to be anxious, knowing that 'tomorrow will worry about itself.'
40. Resolved, to lead people only to the Gospel of Christ when given any chance to, remembering He is the radiance of the glory of God, and the only One worthy of leading someone to.
41. Resolved, to listen carefully to others, not in pretention, but in love.
42. Resolved, to be willing to forsake any leisure or tradition that is a boundary to preaching the Gospel to whatever culture I find myself in.
43. Resolved, to never forget the sweetness of truth that is He loves me, even though I hated Him.
44. Resolved, to remember to mourn when mourning is due.
45. Resolved, to remember that mourning lasts for a season, but it must turn into rejoicing in Christ.
46. Resolved, to learn better how to be 'all things to all men.'
47. Resolved, to fight licentiousness and legalism with all that is in my being.
48. Resolved, on every occasion it comes to mind, to stop and think on the Lord in pleasureful worship, even for a moment.
49. Resolved, when I have good food and drink to never take it for granted, but to enjoy the Lord whom through such things came in to being, and were even given to me for enjoyment.

50. Resolved, to never forget the simple beauty and sweetness of these words from the Cross; 'It is finished!'

Soli Deo Gloria

-Wesley Tyler Robinson